If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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