oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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