You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
