How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
