My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
