i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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