even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
