I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
