Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
