There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
