first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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