Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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