Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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