All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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