is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize