he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
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I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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