Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
