It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
