I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just found puke in my bra..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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