so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
