If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
