My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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