I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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