1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
