I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
