Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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