69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
