Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
