How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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