We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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