Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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