Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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