tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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