Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?

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  (818): Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess? http://tfl.nu/uim6
  Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (484)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  if i can run in heels then i can drive

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  (303): if i can run in heels then i can drive http://tfl.nu/rtwg
  Replies (11) Good night (1285) Bad night (485)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke

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  (401): In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke http://tfl.nu/8xdu
  Replies (11) Good night (909) Bad night (4004)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.

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  (724): I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that. http://tfl.nu/ze20
  Replies (22) Good night (4095) Bad night (945)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.

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  (414): My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with. http://tfl.nu/07fq
  Replies (158) Good night (2584) Bad night (12551)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time

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  (208): Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time http://tfl.nu/nmkk
  Replies (4) Good night (7131) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  There r osticjed everywhere

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  (248): There r osticjed everywhere http://tfl.nu/gpnb
  Replies (12) Good night (1818) Bad night (1129)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!

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  (604): Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon! http://tfl.nu/zzxk
  Replies (7) Good night (1266) Bad night (522)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero

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  (613): I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero http://tfl.nu/0ytb
  Replies (1) Good night (1663) Bad night (835)
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  (805): View more from California

  What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.

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  (805): What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc. http://tfl.nu/01sm
  Replies (29) Good night (3448) Bad night (604)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  You fool.

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  (778): I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps. (1-778): You fool. http://tfl.nu/kp0u
  Replies (10) Good night (1098) Bad night (828)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.

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  (585): Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent. http://tfl.nu/f2ox
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger

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  (248): I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger http://tfl.nu/4bsz
  Replies (8) Good night (568) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.

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  (716): We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity. http://tfl.nu/f66f
  Replies (4) Good night (978) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.

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  (251): Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them. http://tfl.nu/7qa6
  Replies (0) Good night (175) Bad night (422)

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