Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

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(925): I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :( http://tfl.nu/pd8d

Replies (26) Good night (690) Bad night (3749)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?

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(832): it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right? http://tfl.nu/a8lp

Replies (25) Good night (3852) Bad night (758)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.

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(780): I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop. http://tfl.nu/zx6t

Replies (31) Good night (5674) Bad night (1157)
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(906): View more from Michigan

It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again

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(906): It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again http://tfl.nu/8319

Replies (22) Good night (2470) Bad night (5253)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.

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(706): Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj. http://tfl.nu/1t4c

Replies (23) Good night (5750) Bad night (1223)
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(949): View more from California

this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.

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(949): this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning. http://tfl.nu/8me0

Replies (4) Good night (1843) Bad night (819)
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(586): View more from Michigan

We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.

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(586): We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate. http://tfl.nu/plc2

Replies (2) Good night (1913) Bad night (806)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.

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(787): I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth. http://tfl.nu/to4d

Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (1202)
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(815): View more from Illinois

if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.

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(815): if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover. http://tfl.nu/myhj

Replies (2) Good night (784) Bad night (608)
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(519): View more from Ontario

If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.

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(519): If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving. http://tfl.nu/lmm0

Replies (10) Good night (1181) Bad night (902)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass

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(541): Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass http://tfl.nu/kkwh

Replies (1) Good night (1143) Bad night (330)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.

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(720): I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left. http://tfl.nu/nrse

Replies (9) Good night (561) Bad night (727)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"

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(414): Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie" http://tfl.nu/mcag

Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (348)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days

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(513): Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days http://tfl.nu/n2se

Replies (2) Good night (336) Bad night (151)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Drank your wedding present. Sorry

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(267): Drank your wedding present. Sorry http://tfl.nu/ilc5

Replies (1) Good night (249) Bad night (186)

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