Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore

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  (210): i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore http://tfl.nu/ys1g
  Replies (40) Good night (3620) Bad night (1116)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?

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  (903): How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number? http://tfl.nu/4q6h
  Replies (33) Good night (5532) Bad night (1210)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.

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  (513): My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked. http://tfl.nu/x6u7
  Replies (6) Good night (4552) Bad night (841)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

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  (207): he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead http://tfl.nu/s4ov
  Replies (7) Good night (3238) Bad night (1070)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them

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  (708): I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them http://tfl.nu/hbhk
  Replies (8) Good night (4173) Bad night (1049)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.

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  (845): Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes. http://tfl.nu/h1wx
  Replies (2) Good night (2732) Bad night (862)
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  (845): View more from New York

  and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.

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  (845): and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college. http://tfl.nu/7djk
  Replies (4) Good night (2572) Bad night (691)
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  (760): View more from California

  She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.

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  (760): She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome. http://tfl.nu/43xh
  Replies (8) Good night (3289) Bad night (980)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.

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  (412): Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever. http://tfl.nu/jfd9
  Replies (11) Good night (1846) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him

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  (609): His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him http://tfl.nu/rlb9
  Replies (6) Good night (1416) Bad night (438)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.

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  (970): He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart. http://tfl.nu/gryu
  Replies (12) Good night (618) Bad night (1080)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.

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  (270): I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right? (1-270): It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking. http://tfl.nu/u0kh
  Replies (5) Good night (1597) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.

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  (210): I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob. http://tfl.nu/g13n
  Replies (7) Good night (968) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.

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  (229): I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win. http://tfl.nu/j7rq
  Replies (1) Good night (643) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.

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  (916): Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again. http://tfl.nu/kdlw
  Replies (0) Good night (909) Bad night (250)

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