it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
