Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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