ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
