We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
