And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
