you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
