that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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