the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
