Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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