I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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