I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
