Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
