:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
