we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
