the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
