Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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