So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize