We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't think brook has ever known best
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
All I want is dick and wine.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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