Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
