wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
