so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
love makes seman taste better
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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