People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
