just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
