I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize