after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
it's like heaven, but drunker
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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