Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
